Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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