I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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