I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
