Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
