so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
