wanna go halves on a baby?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
