Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
