Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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