Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
