Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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