Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
