I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
