just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
