I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
