Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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