glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
