Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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