i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
