If i come over, it means nothing
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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