I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
