i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
