Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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