I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
