I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
