I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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