do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
