in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.