Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My dick has a subreddit
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life