What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
