How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize