I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
