I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
