STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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