last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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