I don't usually arrange sex via text message
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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