We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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