I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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