What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize