I didn't shave. On purpose
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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