Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
