As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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