the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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