So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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