he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love you.
Bad choice
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
