I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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