Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
