i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
