why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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