life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
