I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
