I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
