He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
