Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
