I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
