All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
