i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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