Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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