they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
