Why does Corona taste like a burp?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
