I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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