You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
