It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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