It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
