I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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