did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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