If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
