Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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