Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
