idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
