I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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